Damned By the Light Coming Out of Her Eyes, One Shot, Rated General

[stephanie_fics]

Title: Damned By the Light Coming Out of Her Eyes
Fandom: Twilight
Characters: Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, mentions of Carlise Cullen
Summary: Edward reveals himself to Bella in the sunlight, only vampires do not sparkle in the sun. Loosely based and inspired by The Picture of Dorian Gray. Told from both Edward's and Bella's POV.
Rating: General
Author's Notes: The idea came from a conversation with pikka_bird42 when she said in her canon vampires would show their true age in the sun instead of sparkling. I said that it sounded very Dorian Gray. If you are a member of the community vavri here is our conversation.
Thank you pikka_bird42 for the inspiration and the beta read.



Damned By the Light Coming Out of Her Eyes

If this girl can give a soul to those who have lived without one, if she can create the sense of beauty in people whose lives have been sordid and ugly, if she can strip them of their selfishness and lend them tears for sorrows that are not their own, she is worthy of all your adoration, worthy of the adoration of the world.
-Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Edward’s POV

I could see the meadow now though we were still yards away. Rays of sunlight were streaking through the trees like God's fingers reaching to touch even the darkest places of the forest. I slowed my walk, not only for Bella's sake, but because I was stalling.

How Bella talked me into revealing myself still baffled me. It was this or watching me hunt. Why she wanted to see that vulgar act I'll never understand.

All the time we spent together, the more I let her in, I kept expecting her to run the other way screaming. She hasn't, yet, but the site of an ancient vampire will be the final straw. I won't blame her when she does try to escape.

I did the same once, even though I had been expecting it since I had seen Carlisle that very first time we went hunting. My new father stepped out into the sun and his young, smooth skin turned into aged leather with deep set wrinkles that hung from his bones showing him in all of his two hundred and seventy eight year old glory. If it weren't for his kind eyes, his compassionate nature, and the fact that I heard his every thought, I would have ran away.

I knew what would become of me as the years passed by. However, it happened much sooner than I believed it would. I didn't know my sins would accelerate my age. I didn't even think what I was doing was a sin. After all I used my gift to prey on only the vilest low lives of society. My rebellious years ended when I saw a reflection of myself in the sun. God's rays revealed the truth; I looked like the soulless demon I let myself become.

I was traveling from Michigan to New York, not taking conventional roads. I was mentally exhausted from lurking through the dark world of civilization. I was also lonely and contemplating reuniting with Carlisle and Esme in Rochester. It had been weeks since my last meal and I was weak with thirst, miles away from any town, and hunting an animal was my only option. It was a clear, hot, sunny day and I found a lake from which a deer drank. Like something out of a painting; the sky, the trees, the mountains reflected in it. The deer's tongue met its reflection to lap up the water. I would have called it beautifully peaceful if I weren't planning to attack the doe.

As I inched forward I caught my own reflection. I should have seen a 30-year-old version of myself staring back. Instead I saw an old man's face: dark, baggy circles beneath jet black eyes. The skin of my neck hung like the wattle of a turkey. A faded human memory resurfaced, the image of my maternal grandfather.

I jumped back. My shock startled the deer but I hardly cared. I realized no matter how justified I thought it was to hunt murderers and rapist it was wrong. I was taking lives. I had become a monster, just like them.

"Is this it?" Bella asked curiously behind me. She was out of breath and struggling not to stumble on the ground as she walked beside me.

I took a few more steps and paused at the edge of the clearing. Slow and meticulously I unbuttoned my shirt and let it fall to the ground. We had come this far and there was no going back now. I just had to prepare myself to go after Bella and make sure didn't accidentally kill herself as she ran through the forest when she saw the soulless creature I really was.

I stepped out into the meadow. The warm rays touched me as I felt my skin reshape. It sagged off my bones and deep lines formed. It tingled as age spots appeared. I kept my eyes closed for I never watched the transformation. It was too grotesque.

Finally I turned to reveal everything to Bella. Her jaw was slack and her eyes wide. I watched as her eyes looked over me. Ever so subtle (that only a vampire's sight would ever catch it) her nose scrunched in disgust. She caught herself quickly and she composed her expression. Then her brows creased with thought.

Forgiving the poor use of the expression, I would kill to hear her thoughts right now. She wasn't running away, screaming in horror. Was she sane?

Her warm, brown eyes met mine and she smiled, "I don't care."

"How can that be?" I asked. "Do you even see what I am?" I held out my arms at my sides and stepped toward her. She did not retreat. Instead to my surprise in two long strides she stood in front of me.

Placing her smooth hand to my cheek, she drew her face closer to mine. Her intoxicating scent caused my throat to burn and my mouth to fill with venom. I quickly swallowed and held my breath.

She forced me to look into her eyes. "You're still my Edward."

Bella’s POV

I was trying to watch where I stepped as I struggled to keep up with Edward. There was so much in the forest I could trip over.

That’s all I needed, to trip and fall and then start bleeding. That would end this hike in a flash. I didn’t want to make it more difficult than it already was for Edward.

I glanced up at him and he slowed his walk. I was out of breath and my heart was pounding against my chest, though part of that was from the suspense I felt. Edward wouldn’t tell me what became of him in the sunlight. I was surprised he agreed to this at all, although I knew my alternative option really wasn’t the safest idea and he’d never go for it.

We were close now. There was a break in the trees where the light peaked through. I tried to imagine what I would see when Edward stepped into the clearing. Obviously he didn’t burn, combust nor turn to ash. That left me with the idea that he turned into something more beautiful than the Adonis he already was, but it wasn’t possible for me to imagine him being more perfect.

Edward hesitated his walk. “Is this it?” I asked timidly. I certainly hoped so.

He didn’t answer and I couldn’t understand why. With his back to me I couldn’t read his face. I carefully watched his silhouette between the trees. He stepped forward and removed his shirt. This was it. If I blinked I would miss every second. The light appeared like halo around him.

He stepped into the meadow where the rays touched his skin transforming him into…not what I expected or ever thought possible. I watched as wrinkles and spots appeared on his body. My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. Then Edward turned around and I saw the face of an old man, his sorrowful expression set in stone.

Yes, I admit it shocked me. Thinking about this moment for the last few days I have been secretly hoping it would be so magical and electrifying that we’d share our first kiss. I couldn’t imagine kissing him now. I nearly scowled at that thought but quickly stopped myself so as not to offend Edward.

I’d have to get used this image of him before going as far as to kiss him in daylight. Perhaps one day when I was a vampire too. Sure vampires are immortal but in a way it would be like we were growing old together. I looked into his gold eyes picturing such a future. Even the thought made me smile. "I don't care," I said.

"How can that be? Do you even see what I am?" He held his arms out and stepped forward. I think he was trying to intimidate me but I walked up to him. Curiously I touched his cheek. It was still stone cold, not frail or rubbery like I expected.

I knew who Edward was and it didn’t matter what he became in the sunlight. He loved me enough to fight against the temptation to drink my blood. He risked exposing himself and his family to save my life. All those times he told me we couldn’t be friends because he was the bad guy. Maybe that is how he saw himself, but he was wrong. Edward was my angel. He couldn’t read my mind so I locked my eyes with his and with as much conviction as I could make my voice sound said, "You're still my Edward."

fin

Author’s Notes: The title is from a lyric in “Let Me Sign,” which Robert Pattinson sings in Twilight. I thought it fit quite well with the mood.